Patience

Yesterday I went to the doctors for my weekly check-up--I'm presently moving right along--70% effaced and 1cm dilated.  Maybe that's too much information, but, I assure you, there have never been such sweeter words.  This baby is getting ready to meet the world.  The doctor also mentioned that she's already 8lbs.  Goodness.  William was 6lbs 9oz when he was born.  A little tyke.  Madeleine already has nearly two pounds on him!  I'm trying to be patient, but I admit, I'm feeling fidgety and anxious.  We'll keep you posted. 

Quiet Post

37 Weeks

Tomorrow will put me at 37 weeks.  Pregnant.  With a huge baby.  At this point in the game I'm happy I can still move around--doing our walks every day and taking in the festivities around town.  I'm sore and tired and feeling distracted all at once.  But, Baby Madeleine's little nook is set up, clothes have been washed and put away, the baby diapers are ready and Andrew's pretty confident his directions will get us to the hospital.  So, now that I'm full term, she can come anytime!

By the way, I'm still tweaking the design of this blog.  Interestingly, I'm not quite ready to retire it.  Though, it seems to me, blogging seems to be waning in the creative world, maybe even in general.  I know a few other blogger friends of mine have noticed this, too.  It's moving more into the twitter realm.  I've always appreciated the fact that this blog has been a spot for me to spill my thoughts.  And it's been one of my favorite excuses to continue to take photographs.  We'll see what happens when Baby M arrives, but I hope to keep posting every once in a while.  

Sending love,

Jewels

Time

Some days I feel like I have so far to go. No matter how many inspirational quotes I read on my Pinterest feed, I'm still me at the end of the day, a work in progress desperately trying to hang onto the right perspective. I was sitting on a bench, in the sunshine, this weekend, watching the boys play with sticks and puppies, contemplating how a world with a knack for instant gratification, instant information, instant entertainment and distraction, handles the idea that some things take time. We, as forming individuals, take time. I feel like it's going to take years for me to fully appreciate this precious time with my babies. Years to understand that marriage is so much better when you give fully! It's going to take even longer to be kind to myself, to understand my depression, to love the shadow parts of my soul. It's supposed to, though, right? Every step I take towards appreciating myself and my situation is a step in the right direction. Each day I'm slowly getting there. I can't rush it--I can't simply stop and suddenly become this fully actualized, appreciative, wise, thoughtful, care-free woman who knows not only all that she wants but what she has. Might not be the most popular thought out there, but I'm going to give myself the freedom to get there... someday. Or at least try!

Spring

This winter has made it difficult to fully embrace the idea of spring--the mild temperatures and rain all through January and February, with two exceptions, made it feel like we were already there. So, I'm trying to take my cues from the flowers slowly emerging here in Chestnut Hill. The Witch Hazel sprouted last month, like curry-hued coconut. The snowdrops came up early, too, courageous sprites that they are. But, now we're seeing the purples, yellows, and whites of crocuses and daffodils. Trying to point out the flowers to William is quite entertaining--most of the time he thinks that I'm pointing to a train/truck/car that's passing by, or he's tramping over them--the gangly rude Spring tourist. Maybe Madeleine will be more delicately interested!

I'm officially into my third trimester and feeling very pregnant. Getting off the couch is a bit of a sight, as is taking off my socks or trying to reach the toy that got stuffed under the chair. But, I'm thankfully feeling good right now. Spring is a wonderful time to be pregnant. You can't help but feel energized. I'm ready to take on new challenges and projects. My list is growing--multi-pronged and varied--it encompasses my growing family, my restless creative spirit and the ever-present trick of making everything stretch for just a bit longer.

Hoping you have a wonderful weekend, loves!

XOXO,
Jewels

Last Week

Today marks the last Monday I will be solo parenting. Andrew has been taking an intense four week course related to work down in Maryland--this is the last week. He's been able to come home on the weekends--which has been an extraordinary relief--but, I assure you, during the week, time moves slowly. Like sludge. It would be a completely different situation if I weren't 6 months pregnant with diminishing view of my feet. I'm learning all different sorts of coping mechanisms, mostly related to chocolate, along with a huge appreciation for mothers who do this regularly. I'm not going to lie, there have been tears, hyper-ventilation, and complete, utter exhaustion, to the point that I can't get off the couch. But, there have also been moments of true inspiration. My neighbors, friends, and family have literally swooped in and rescued the day with their time, their generosity and kindness. Amazingly, I haven't felt as alone as I would have thought. I'm still tired and achy and can't quite figure out how to manage William's outbursts of crankiness, but I'm here. We've survived!

So, sorry if I've been a little absent over here. I know you'll understand!

XOXO,
Jewels

Image by Jackie Rueda

Snow

It's been a mild winter, to say the least. We had snow back in October and a few fluffy flakes here and there, but the first real snow fall of the winter came last weekend! It was gorgeous, the perfect wintery day. Everything turned white. I love snow. I'm a rare bird in these parts--most people look at me like I'm deranged when I saw that I like winter. I like the "S" word. Ha!